What to Say to Students

What to Say to Students

Information for students should be based entirely on their need, developmental age, and

relationship/proximity to the event. The goal is to reassure students that although there is always a possibility of violence occurring in a school, the probability of a school experiencing a high profile violent act is extremely low.

Open communication between home and school is critical to the safety and well-being of our students and your children. Let us know if you have a concern or question about school policies or your child’s safety. Know if your child’s friends have access to any weapons. Keep any weapons in your house locked up and away from children of all ages.

Talking to Children About Violence:

High profile acts of violence, particularly in schools, can confuse and frighten children who may feel in danger or worry that their friends or loved-ones are at risk. They will look to adults for information and guidance on how to react. Parents and school personnel can help children feel safe by establishing a sense of normalcy and security and talking with them about their fears.

1. Reassure children that they are safe. Emphasize that schools are very safe. Validate

their feelings. Explain that all feelings are okay when a tragedy occurs. Let children talk

about their feelings, help put them into perspective, and assist them in expressing these

feelings appropriately.

2. Make time to talk. Let their questions be your guide as to how much information to

provide. Be patient. Children and youth do not always talk about their feelings readily.

Watch for clues that they may want to talk, such as hovering around while you do the

dishes or yard work. Some children prefer writing, playing music, or doing an art project as an outlet..

3. Keep your explanations developmentally appropriate.

• Upper elementary and early middle school children will be more vocal in asking

questions about whether they truly are safe. They may need assistance separating reality from fantasy. Discuss efforts of school and community leaders to provide safe schools.

• Upper middle school students will have strong and varying opinions

about the causes of violence in schools and society. They will share concrete

suggestions about how to make school safer and how to prevent tragedies in society.

Emphasize the role that students have in maintaining safe schools by following school

safety guidelines (e.g. reporting strangers on campus, reporting threats to the school safety made by students or community members, etc.), communicating any personal safety concerns to school administrators, and accessing support for emotional needs.

4. Review safety procedures. This should include procedures and safeguards at school and at home. Help children identify at least one adult at school and in the community to whom they go if they feel threatened or at risk.

5. Observe children’s emotional state. Some children may not express their concerns

verbally. Changes in behavior, appetite, and sleep patterns can indicate a child’s level of

anxiety or discomfort. In most children, these symptoms will ease with reassurance and

time. However, some children may be at risk for more intense reactions. Children who have had a past traumatic experience or personal loss, suffer from depression or other mental illness, or with special needs may be at greater risk for severe reactions than others. Seek the help of mental health professional if you are at all concerned.

6. Limit television viewing of these events. Limit television viewing and be aware if the television is on in common areas. Developmentally inappropriate information can cause anxiety or confusion, particularly in young children. Adults also need to be mindful of the content of conversations that they have with each other in front of children, even

teenagers, and limit their exposure to vengeful, hateful, and angry comments that might be misunderstood.

7. Maintain a normal routine. Keeping to a regular schedule can be reassuring and

promote physical health. Ensure that children get plenty of sleep, regular meals, and

exercise. Encourage them to keep up with their schoolwork and extracurricular activities but don’t push them if they seem overwhelmed.

Suggested Points to Emphasize When Talking to Children:

• Schools are safe places. School staff work with parents and public safety providers (local police and fire departments, emergency responders, hospitals, etc.) to keep you safe.

• The school building is safe because ... (cite specific school procedures).

• We all play a role in the school safety. Be observant and let an adult know if you see or

hear something that makes you feel uncomfortable, nervous or frightened.

• There is a difference between reporting, tattling or gossiping. You can provide

important information that may prevent harm either directly or anonymously by telling a

trusted adult what you know or hear.

• Don’t dwell on the worst possibilities. Although there is no absolute guarantee that

something bad will never happen, it is important to understand the difference between the

possibility of something happening and the probability that it will affect our school.

• Senseless violence is hard for everyone to understand. Doing things that you enjoy,

sticking to your normal routine, and being with friends and family help make us feel better and keep us from worrying about the event.

• Sometimes people do bad things that hurt others. They may be unable to handle

their anger, under the influence of drugs or alcohol, or suffering from mental illness. Adults (parents, teachers, police officers, doctors, faith leaders) work very hard to get those people help and keep them from hurting others. It is important for all of us to know how to get help if we feel really upset or angry and to stay away from drugs and alcohol.

• Stay away from guns and other weapons. Tell an adult if you know someone has a

gun. Access to guns is one of the leading risk factors for deadly violence.

• Violence is never a solution to personal problems. Students can be part of the

positive solution by participating in anti-violence programs at school, learning conflict

mediation skills, and seeking help from an adult if they or a peer is struggling with anger,

depression, or other emotions they cannot control.

NASP has additional information for parents and educators on school safety, violence

prevention, children’s trauma reactions, and crisis response at www.nasponline.org.

Bethesda, MD 20814